Caitlin Mendoza and Suzanne Yost
We come to you with precious information about your local shop of bacteria-masquerading-as-ice-cream. Sweet Frog, the frozen yogurt shop on University, has had its merchandise critiqued by two experts in the field of dessert-eating: us, Caitlin and Suzanne. Perhaps being on the staff of TCU’s eleven40seven doesn’t necessarily qualify us for being taste testers; however our experience with sugar consumption makes us the perfect people for the task.
Here you will find our very serious and genuine opinions of Sweet Frog’s flavors, toppings, and the dos and don’ts of the perfect frozen-yogurt-and-toppings combination.
Non-Dairy Raspberry Pomegranate
We really didn’t expect for any of the yogurt to actually taste like what it was supposed to and this really tastes like it’s supposed to (the flavor borders on overpowering in a good way). This is delicious though and the non-dairy part means stomach aches are at a minimum. 5 pomegranate seeds out of 5.
Suggested toppings: None. You can’t taste the fruity toppings over the flavor and the sweet toppings just ruin it. Avoid nuts at all costs. It doesn’t work. Trust us.
Suggested combos: Strawberry Lemonade. QUADRUPLE COMBO! Go big or go home.
Another winner—if you’re ready for your mouth to pucker. It’s a little tart, but hey: it’s lemonade. This one takes you back to hot summer days spent by the swimming pool if that’s something you’ve done in the past. Not something we used to do, but whatever.
Suggested toppings: The only thing that’s gonna enhance this flavor is an actual lemon, but we don’t think they have those at the toppings bar.
Suggested combos: See above.
Sugar Free Cheesecake
LOL. No. Don’t eat this crap. If you came to Sweet Frog looking for something healthy, it is time to turn your butt around and go down to the Whole Foods. This tastes gross, and as fans of cheesecake, we are personally offended.
Suggested toppings: You might try sugar.
Suggested combos: Surprisingly good with mango frozen yogurt…why is this O.K.?
There’s just something about this flavor that screams artificial fruit and preservatives. We wouldn’t recommend it unless you’re crazy for mangos. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but it certainly ain’t the best.
Suggested toppings: If you cover it in real mangos you might actual taste some mango, except the mangos at the toppings bar are deeefinitely overripe. So, don’t do that. Again, avoid nuts. Blueberries are good if you want to tone down the mango a lil bit.
Suggested combos: You can mix it with NSA Cheesecake if that’s something you’re into for some reason.
No Sugar Added Vanilla
Vanilla is a classic, basic flavor in the world of sweets. If a dessert place can’t get this right, can they really be trusted with anything else? But thankfully, Sweet Frog pulled through and gave us Vanilla that actually tastes like vanilla ice cream, despite there being no sugar…or ice cream. It seems the sugar-replacing chemicals did their job.
Suggested toppings: Literally anything. It’s vanilla.
Suggested combos: Literally anything. It’s vanilla.
This will satisfy your chocoholic cravings. It tastes like chocolate… but not chocolate ice cream necessarily. It’s richer. But is it really chocolate if it’s nonfat?
Suggested toppings: Sweet things, like… um… everything at the bar pretty much.
Suggested combos: Pretty good with most flavors but whatever you do, do not eat this with the pineapple yogurt. The pineapple does its thing and overpowers the chocolate and chocolate should never be overpowered.
Low Fat Salted Caramel
If you’re the savory-lover who’s been dragged to get dessert with your sweet-loving friends, we suggest giving the Salted Caramel a try. Quite honestly, it tastes distinctly like dehydration. But isn’t that what you want if you’re a salt addict? Don’t worry. You’re not alone.
Suggested toppings: Don’t eat it with pineapple. We have no words.
Suggested combos: Chocolate tones it down if you want it to be toned down–if you don’t like the salt but decided to get the salted caramel anyway.
Low Fat Cake Batter
Is it any different than NSA Vanilla? TBD. It probably has more sugar in it. In fact, it kind of tastes like pure sugar… which is probably why it is a favorite of a little kid Suzanne knows. It’s not, however, a favorite of ours.
Suggested toppings: Well I guess you could go with sprinkles since it’s cake but we wouldn’t waste our time with that.
Suggested combos: you’d think this would work with anything, but you’d be wrong. We tried mixing it with pineapple to make pineapple upside-down cake. It was a flop.
Holy moly this stuff is powerful. It’s distinctly pineapple and it would be hard to eat a whole cup of it unless you’re the type that eats pineapple on pizza and other weird things.
Suggested toppings: Not pineapples. There’s something wrong with those pineapples.
Suggested combos: Honestly, if you’re going to go pineapple, just go full pineapple.
Low Fat Original Tart
WHAT DOES THIS TASTE LIKE? We both think it’s so familiar but cannot figure it out. We don’t think it just tastes like plain yogurt.
Suggested toppings: Fruit, maybe?
Suggested combos: It’s okay with pineapple, but nothing is gonna jazz this up and make your life more interesting so you might as well get something else.
It tastes so artificial…like candy. Is that a bad thing? No. Unless you were wanting frozen yogurt. Which we were.
Suggested toppings: Cover that baby in chocolate sauce.
Suggested combos: Chocolate covered strawberry is a go.
We like bananas, but this was a little much. It was VERY banana-y. And by that we mean it tasted like banana Laffy Taffy, which really isn’t banana at all, is it? And it was weirdly orange. Also, bananas shouldn’t have fat anyway, so…
Suggested toppings: You could go for a banana split: chocolate sauce, strawberry sauce, and nuts. Wait. No. No nuts. That tastes weird.
Suggested combos: It’s okay with strawberry.
Low Fat Coconut
This tastes like coconut. If for some strange reason your favorite fruit is coconut, go for it. It’s not bad.
Suggested toppings: Go nuts! (But don’t actually put nuts on it. Haven’t you learned anything?)
Suggested combos: Tastes good with its wallmate Cookies and Cream.
Low Fat Cookies ‘n Cream
*Applause* You did it, Sweet Frog. The Cookies ‘n Cream froyo tastes like an Oreo, just like it’s supposed to. We think we’re going to eat all our Oreos in froyo form, now.
Suggested toppings: Can’t go wrong with that classic Oreo.
Suggested combos: Good with coconut, good with strawberry, and, as expected, not good with pineapple (or nuts, incidentally).
If you’re looking to eat healthy but gave up sweets, you might think to try frozen yogurt. (Yogurt’s healthy, right? Right?) But we’re here to tell you the truth you need to hear: it’s not worth it. Stick to ice cream, gain a couple of extra pounds, and be happy.