by Caitlin Mendoza
Welcome to Texas where seasons are a myth. Where one day you’re sweating and the next you’re regretting not bringing a jacket. Everyone expects fall to happen for some reason and everyone is disappointed. Even Texas natives complain when it’s 80 degrees in December, like they didn’t know it was coming all along. Like DFW has a history of being cold in November.
But hey, at least it isn’t approaching 100 and, besides, we can live vicariously through friends and strangers on the internet. Look at that Instagram post. See the pretty leaf colors. Don’t look outside—all the leaves out there are green. But the grass is brown, so that’s something. Pretend there’s a fire roaring in the nonexistent fireplace of your 80-square foot dorm room. Drink some hot cocoa made in the microwave with some milk that’s a couple of days past its best-by date. Try to avoid giving yourself heat stroke while you’re at it.
Of course, the most important part of “fall” is the clothes. You probably dug out all your cute sweaters and scarfs back in September and pray for a day with a high below 70 so you can wear them. You pair your outfit with a hot latte, because what else would you drink when it’s a chilly 68 degrees?
Go to the grocery store and pick out a pumpkin to decorate your room with. Did you know pumpkins enjoy hot weather? Be like the pumpkins and embrace the heat. Let it light a fire inside of you. You know, like a Jack-o-lantern? Don’t forget to complain about it, though.
Now go listen to some Christmas music, ‘cause baby it’s almost not warm outside.