By Anonymous
As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, shouldn’t I feel safe in queer spaces? I’m used to keeping my identity hidden in mostly straight spaces, but when other queer people surround me, I should know that I can be myself, right? I’d like it to be that way, but things are never that simple.
Despite what TCU claims about supporting the community, there has always been a problem with homophobia on campus. An issue of the TCU Daily Skiff from 1989 discussed how queer students were hesitant to form a GSA because it could make them open to harassment, discrimination, and violence. The community may have later found the courage to create Spectrum and GRO, but the threat of external hostility remains. I, too, have this subconscious fear that someone will see me in these spaces and use that as an excuse to send hatred my way.
Of course, even if we could magically make homophobia disappear, LGBTQ+ spaces would not be a haven of acceptance. One of my current classes has a majority of queer students. Many of these students are out and proud and have no issue discussing their queer experiences. I long to join them. So why do I continue to clam up about my identity? Is it a fear that the few who aren’t queer will single me out for torment? Or is it a fear that my fellow queer students will decide that I’m the “wrong kind” of queer?
I suppose that’s the problem with having such a diverse community. It’s only a matter of time before people start bumping heads and disagreeing over who deserves to belong. This internal hostility is not a productive mindset for us, and I know I’m not the only one experiencing it. In an interview with members of the Fort Worth LGBTQ+ community, one person said, “queer people find queer spaces off-putting… there’s like a stereotype almost associated with queer spaces…weird, insufferable, blue hair.” This stereotypical idea of what queer people are supposed to be like has split us into factions. There are those who try to define queerness and those who resent being defined. And both avoid the queer spaces to avoid the other faction.
This is a problem I can’t pretend to have a solution for. The best I can do for now is keep myself safe and keep searching for an LGBTQ+ space that accepts and protects everyone. Maybe then I can finally find the courage to be myself.