Kassie Velasco, Sophomore, Strategic Communication, Kingwood, TX
December 27, 2018
The beep was deafening, yet I cannot recall hearing it. The iced coffee I had just gotten a few minutes prior was poured out over the floor and on my shoes. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at my dad’s lifeless body, laying so peacefully in his hospital bed. It’s real, my dad is gone. After fighting cancer for 7 years, it is really over. I do not remember much after I watched him take his final breath. All I could feel was my heart tightening in my chest. I wanted it to be me in that hospital bed. I wanted my dad to be okay again.
December 28, 2018
I slept in my parents room tonight. Being close to where my dad used to sleep makes me feel close to him again. He was my best friend and I truly wish cancer wouldn’t have taken him so soon. Life can be so cruel at times
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December 27, 2019
It has been a whole year. A year without my dad’s contagious laughter and warm hugs. I miss him everyday and I truly do not think it ever gets easier. I am a senior in high school now and just heard back from my two top schools: New York University and Texas Christian University. I got in, Dad. You would be so proud. I also found a cat outside my home today. He looked so cold so I brought him into the garage for the night. I hope I can find its owner soon.
January 2, 2020
Happy New Year! We still have the cat. I named him Oscar after my dad. He doesn’t seem to have had any previous owners but that’s okay because him and Leeroy get along very well. I am happy with the new addition to the family!
February 26, 2020
I may sound crazy but I have a weird feeling my dad’s soul is in my cat’s body. He loves spicy food and will watch TV if a Nascar race is on. He also only sits in the same spot my dad would sit in to read?? It is so strange but it’s oddly comforting.
March 13, 2020
I went into quarantine today. I’m scared and uncertain of what the next few weeks will bring with this COVID-19 pandemic. I found out the cat can communicate through bowl taps. Two taps for yes and one tap for no. I asked him if he was my dad and he gave me two taps. I am officially freaked out but also strangely ecstatic. Did my dad really come back as a cat??
March 27, 2020
My mom and I decided to take my cat Oscar in to be looked at by a witch. After examining my cat she figured out it really is my dad. She began to explain a potion she has that can transform my cat back into my dad in his original body. My mom was not so sure about this but I convinced her anyway…it’s worth a shot. Anything to have my dad back. We should be hearing from her any day now.
April 3, 2020
Today has been an emotional rollercoaster. The witch, Alice, brought us back in today and revealed my dad to us. It was really him, in the flesh. He had on the same hospital gown he had when he passed, yet he looked so much healthier and stronger than he did on that bed. My emotions overwhelmed me when I first saw him. I was scared and ecstatic all at once. Only, it was different. My dad did not seem very excited to see us. He seemed frustrated and aloof. On the car ride back he kept asking where he was and what happened to the pretty fields. My mom and I are not quite sure what he meant, but I hope he learns to enjoy being with us again soon.
April 12, 2020
It has been hard adjusting my dad back to home life. He seems different, not totally himself. He hasn’t eaten anything and refuses to speak to either of us. I wish he was happy, am I not enough for him anymore?
May 5, 2020
It is Cinco De Mayo, my dad’s favorite holiday. Only this year is different. My dad still has not spoken to any of us and occasionally disappears on walks for hours on end like he’s searching for something. If only I could understand what he is feeling right now, maybe I could help him be okay again.
June 17, 2020
Today was fathers day. My dad left for the day to walk around the town like he always does and it felt like our second fathers day without him. He is here physically but he really isn’t here mentally. I regret bringing him back to life, I wish I could reverse time. My mom and I have taken up sewing though! We are making masks for healthcare workers. Feels good to help others when you’re stuck at home.
July 27, 2020
I graduated high school today. My dad showed up but I think it was an accident while he was walking around town. My heart aches. I feel like every atom in my body is being torn apart every time he and I make eye contact. When I look at him all I see is emptiness. My mom and him have been getting into heated arguments lately. I have been trying to break them apart when things get physical but my dad is far too strong, stronger than he’s ever been before. I hear them fighting right now, I will be back to finish this entry after I see what is going on.
September 24, 2025
I open my eyes to a bright light shining overhead. My mom and a random man are peering over me, crying tears of joy because they see I’ve finally woken up. Apparently, it’s been 5 years and 2 months since I entered a coma. I don’ t remember much from before. My mom explained that my dad was here for a little but she had to give him back to God because it was unfair to keep him somewhere he was unhappy. I am not sure what she means, but I am too out of sorts to ask her. Pages from my diary are ripped out so I really have no recollection of anything she is talking about. She is probably trying to protect me.
October 19, 2025
I finally got to go home from the hospital today. My house seems foreign to me but I know this is where I belong. I was greeted by my dog Leeroy and my cat Oscar. They both had no problem remembering who I was. It feels good to be back, but I feel so confused. I pray my memories come back one day, but for now I will enjoy the life I have.